Hypnosis #9: The Past Revealed
by Ctarsis
Summary: Thchi has an old enemy of Xilite's to help her out now -- and Xilite finally discovers just who her parents are.


Hypnosis #9: The Past Revealed  
A/N: Once again, I thank Renn, my beta reader/co-author!!! (grins) Thankyouthankyouthankyou! *notices people staring* *clears her throat, and in a very business-like tone, says...* Thanks a lot, Renn. The fic would never be out without you helping me out of my terminal writer's block – or at least _keeping_ me out of it. One more time: THANK YOU!!!!!!

  
  
  


Hypnosis#9:ThePastRevealed  
  
  
  
  
  


**

* * *

Chapter One – Thchi

* * *

**

Beaten!

I seethed with rage and slammed my tail against the floor. My anger filled me. I could barely think straight.

And still the thought plagued me... _No control._

She scared me, I admitted to myself. She'd lasted too long. She'd been too proud, too calm, too clear-thinking. Her vision wasn't marred by emotions, and emotions were my only card to play. I had to get through to her and break that horrible ability to resist. Not to resist physically, but emotionally. That Xaralite could resist anyone.

Oh, I hated her.

I hated the fact that, deep inside, I knew she was stronger than me. Her idiotic will, backed by passion she never showed, held me off. All I wanted was a tool, and I'd gotten a warrior – to fight against me.

Ridiculous. She'd beaten me in a few battles, true, but I could control her – so why did I keep thinking of her as a dam of resistance, of power, ready to burst? She couldn't begin to challenge me!

Had to hide behind assumptions. I couldn't face the facts that she had already won a few battles of her own.

I thought with a seething rage of her parents. I'd even defeated _them_. But not her. Oh, not that perfect little Xarilian.

Her father had named her. While Xilite means "child of the ocean," it also means "child of hope." As well as the fact that she's named for the _xilinni_ beam, which also means "warrior." I snorted in disgust. What kind of idiotic species managed to give a child a name that meant three names?

But she was called the child of hope.

Because even in that moment of agony, he had hope.

Cursed race.

The Xaralites. Formidable enough as a species. But her line – that sickening line – was the greatest challenge to me that I'd ever known of.

Seven races, poured into that effort against them. The Ellimist. Crayak.

Me.

And still she survived!

The one Xaralite who'd been the worst threat was still alive.

She didn't know the half of it. She thought that I only cared about having a tool, and that her powers as a Xarilian made her perfect for the job.

However, I had a special grudge against her and her entire family.

Even her parents – even they had not been able to be annihilated. Even they had been unable to be destroyed. But I'd done, if anything, worse.

They had their own fate.

I'd tried to take her then. But it had been impossible, even for me.

And she'd been an infant!

Now, facing her, roughly the equivalent of a human teenager in age, but the equivalent of far above even an adult Xaralite in intellect, I was having even worse problems.

Should have found someway to finish her off then.

I tried to convince myself that it was others who made her strong. Her love of that Andalite – she should hate him! – or her friendship with the Animorphs, or her "sisters" Cairo and Rlin – but it was obscene to continue believing that.

Her destiny? Destiny is a laughable object. No Xaralite, or any other creature of any note, believes in that idea.

Some insane inner strength?

What kept her so strong?

I should be able to deal with her.

I! Thchi! Defeated by a Xarilian – a _Xaralite_ – even of her line, I should be able to annihilate her!

I would have killed her at that moment. But inside I knew that I could not destroy her without destroying myself. She was now linked to me, through this tie by which I was able to control her.

Sometimes I wondered if I'd have been able to kill her before.

Fortunately, I had a backup plan.

This Xaralite captain would fall. And with her, the last of her line would fall.

I hated them all.

And I'd killed off all but three.

Two had a fate far worse than any death. And one...well...this lone Xaralite – the greatest of her line yet – would meet as horrible a fate as I could prepare.

I've not been known for mercy.

**

* * *

Chapter Two – Xilite

* * *

**

I was a Xaralite.

I needed that strength now. I needed that feeling of complete invincibility that I had in Xaralite form. Despite my resolution _not_ to use that form, I was. It didn't matter now, anyway.

I had no future.

I sat alone, dreaming. Even in my daydreams, I felt tense, ready. My eyes were narrowed even through the brightest, most hopeful of illusions.

And that's all they were, really. Illusions.

Illusions of a bright future. But I didn't have that.

I guess that I knew, even then, that I would not survive it. Even then, even as I entertained hope within, I knew that I had no chance of a free life.

_A death in honor is better than a life of slavery._

I heard the words ring through my mind. They were the first words I ever consciously remember hearing. I asked other Xaralites who may have heard it as well what they were, but they never told me. They never told me who said it.

My parents?

My father?

It had become my silent motto, in a way. I remembered it even now. And I knew that it was true.

So what kept me from committing suicide? What kept me from killing myself?

I did not know. Perhaps I did not want to.

Suddenly, a form faded in. A form I knew all too well.

Oh, I knew him.

"Hello, ACapir," I said coldly.

"My, my, my. Conquered at last?"

I glared at him, eyes flashing fire. "Never conquered."

"You certainly look it."

I stood to my feet, as calm as I could be. "And you, ACapir? Are you to become Thchi's little minion in all of this?"

"Me? A minion? Surprising that you can talk that way." He laughed mirthlessly and strode towards me, Thchi behind him.

_He's not brainwashed,_ I realized. _He doesn't need to be._

I stood my ground as he advanced. He was testing me. Testing to see if I was a coward.

He should know me better.

I growled menacingly, deep in my throat. I didn't even realize that I was until he laughed again. "Irritated, Xilite?"

My name from his mouth. I was filled with anger.

"I must ask you not to advance," I said coolly. I extended my claws. I could test him, as well.

"I would accord you the respect from one leader to another," he said, ignoring me, though I saw hesitation in his eyes. "Except that...well...I'm not defeated." He smiled. "You are. And your people are."

"And you're a vile reproduction of a Xaralite," I said calmly. However, I was having to struggle to force my words out. I was infuriated. Utterly enraged. He had insulted me. And NO ONE insults me.

_Calm, Xilite. It's what separates you from Thchi. Don't let yourself be blinded. You can't fight your way out, not against Thchi. And he is an agent of Thchi._

I hated that word, "can't." It's not a word I've ever been fond of.

"Not to mention being her slave," he continued. I softened my growl until it was nonexistent. No point in displaying my anger, as it did nothing. "YOU, one of your –" His mouth snapped shut and he sent a hesitant glance to Thchi.

"My what?" I felt curiosity creep into my voice. I didn't care.

"Nothing of your concern."

"Your statement and your fear seems to speak otherwise," I shot back. I saw anger cross his face. "Yes, fear. I'm not blind. You're terrified of that sickening snake, the pitiful serpent. Thchi, the weakling who must use others to –"

He hit me across the face. Hard.

I was shocked.

He had hit me with claws slightly extended. I felt blood on a slight portion of my face.

And I thought I was angry before.

Time seemed to pause. I'd never had such a blatant gesture of disrespect from anyone. I'd been struck before, yes, in battle. But never that way.

We glared at each other. For about two seconds.

Then I moved.

I slashed him across the neck, in a shallow cut. He stumbled back. I struck again, across the arm. He raised it, ready to slam mine back, but I was far too fast.

_One last strike._

He fell back, to the ground.

**

* * *

Chapter Three – ACapir

* * *

**

I was thunderstruck.

Her lower paw, what humans would call a "foot," clawed and menacing, was at my throat. She stood erect, at her full height, but ready. And angry.

"I must ask for an apology."

I quivered with rage. "And I must decline," I retorted. I may be many things, but coward is not among them.

Which was at least part of the reason why I was rather upset. She had accused me of fear. Me!

She tossed her head and looked up at Thchi. "Not going to save him?" she spat.

I realized that Thchi was still. *If he is so weak as to allow himself to be beaten, I see no reason to.*

I was growling myself, now. Humiliated and insulted. I was not fond of either word.

And so, I jerked back.

It ripped a slight gash in my neck, beside the other one. But she was too surprised to move as I leaped to my feet.

It didn't last long. Within a moment, she was slicing.

She was beautiful.

The thought popped into my mind, unheeded. I blocked a blow rakishly and almost hit her with one of my own. Oh, she was fast.

She dodged out of the way, barely. Her eyes flashed with pride and arrogance and the illusion of invincibility. Utter self-confidence. Arrogance exuded from her.

But if this arrogance, this self-confidence was focused in her fighting abilities, it was well-placed.

I'd never met a foe that I couldn't beat. The Xaralites – as soon as I was "created," "born," call it what you want, I'd made a reputation for myself. They called me "the Conqueror." There had been talk among the _A_Xaralites and even among a few Hrisk of mutinying against the emperor in favor of my rule.

When those Animorphs, the Andalite, Rlin, and...she...arrived, I'd met a group – or at least a duo, as the human Animorphs and even Rlin had been captured – that I had not been able to defeat. She and that cursed Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill.

She struck again, forcing me back. Satisfaction gleamed in her eyes. I heard her thought-speak voice in my head. [Not such a fighter after all, ACapir?]

My eyes widened. Rage pumped through me. I slashed hard, almost decapitating her. She was too fast!

So beautiful.

So fast.

And, at the moment, very deadly.

One misstep and I'd have been dead.

I concentrated carefully, calculating her approximate velocity in proportion to my own. Then I slashed.

I hit her on the arm.

[Wow, about twenty for me and one for you.] Her mocking taunt hit home and I slashed again, less carefully. She blocked it.

But she wasn't getting in quite as many slashes as she had been. Not now. Even if I couldn't touch her.

*My, my, my. Perhaps I would need a better fighter to handle her.*

I gritted my teeth. I'd had it with this filthy snake. She was my ally, for now. In exchange for her power to help my people, the _A_Xaralites. But other than that, I had no use for her.

And I had no words to say to her, not until I conquered this Xaralite. Xarilian. Xairr.

Ah, yes, the most deadly combination. One the world had not seen before and was not likely to see again. Hopefully.

Of course, if Xilite continued to fight as she was, I wouldn't live to see it if there was.

One well-aimed blow, I told myself. Just one. Knock her back.

I slashed, once again calculating it as much as I could. She jerked back, but not before blood began to appear on her arm.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, but I had the upper hand. I fought her back. She ducked, slashed again, and suddenly our claws and small wrist blades were straining against the other's.

[Hello,] she said calmly.

I smiled in as fake a way as I could, annoyed by these pleasantries. Did she dare mock me?

She took advantage of the moment to knock me away. I hit the ground and rolled, then leaped to my feet. By now we were five feet apart.

"Down again?" Xilite mocked, using audible speech now.

Suddenly her body shuddered. I could tell from the sudden change in her eyes – from expressionless to burning, from self-controlled to uncontrolled – that Thchi had taken her over.

"Down again?" I shot back.

**

* * *

Chapter Four – Rachel

* * *

**

I was sitting on a bale of hay, leaning against an empty stall, waiting with Tobias and Ax and Cassie for the others to arrive. Once again, I'd gotten the fun job of finding Tobias and the Andalite freak.

However, this flight had pretty much been silent.

There was nothing to say to each other. Yeah, I was ticked off at Ax (and vice versa), but I wasn't used to being ticked off at Tobias (or vice versa). As usual, Xilite's influence hadn't done the best for the group.

Now, we were at the barn, waiting for the others. Silently.

The door opened. Not exactly quietly. It was more of a SLAM!! type thing. It hit the wall hard as it opened, then slammed back into place in an even louder way.

"Hello, Marco," I said without even looking up.

"Hello, Rachel. Hello, Cassie. Hello, Tobias." He pointedly ignored Ax. Not surprising. Ax hadn't said a word to – well – anyone, including Tobias.

[Hi, Marco,] Tobias said flatly. I was shocked. I had NEVER heard him sound like that.

Never.

Marco smiled insincerely and flopped down on a bale of hay across from a caged wolf. "Hey, that wolf reminds me of the time Xilite attacked us in wolf form." He looked around, that insincere expression still on his face. "Does anyone else have any thoughts?"

Jake showed up after another five minutes of silence.

"What took you so long?" I demanded.

"Did you get attacked by Xilite?" Marco said innocently.

"Let it drop, Marco," Cassie warned unexpectedly.

"What? No one's going to stick up for her?"

He was trying to goad Ax in a rather obvious way. Ax ignored him.

Another five minutes of silence. Marco looked a mixture of sick to his stomach, sarcastic, and tense. "No attacks yet."

To my surprise, it was me who leaped up and threw a handful of hay in his face. "Are you obsessed with the word 'attack'?!" I yelled.

He spit out some straw that had ended up in his mouth. But he didn't respond.

Then I registered the look of exhaustion on his face. And defeat. All quickly masked by anger.

"You two stop it," Jake said in a barely controlled tone. "I mean it. Right now."

I sank back into my reclining position, too tired to even argue. I'd gotten zero sleep.

See, Xilite and I had been, towards the last part of her Animorph career, friends. And as bad as it was to have David turn on us, to have a friend, a companion, turn on you – that's worse.

And maybe that was what was making me so sarcastic. So taunting to Ax. So mocking.

The fact that I wished I could have as much confidence in her as he did.

Not that I was going to admit that. And I was mad.

Because his "confidence" was idiotic.

"I figured we should all meet up," Jake said. He looked around. "Has anyone heard from her?"

"We're still alive," I said sarcastically. "So I guess not."

He nodded in acceptance of the fact. "Well."

Marco snorted. "So basically we just called this meeting to have a pity party because she's out there?!" he yelled. "What do we think we're going to accomplish?!"

Jake just leaned back against a wall. He looked tired. Like all of us. "I don't know, Marco," he muttered. I don't think anyone else heard – well, maybe Tobias. Probably Cassie, because she looked at him with concern and slipped her arm through his.

"We can beat her," she whispered.

Marco laughed harshly. "Cassie, have you been unconscious this entire time?! Beat HER?!"

[I believe that Marco may be right,] Ax said, finally speaking up. [Thchi, with her own power as well as Xilite's, will be a formidable opponent. However –]

"Thchi?!" I shrieked, unable to even pretend at calmness anymore. "THCHI?! Thchi is nothing more than some ploy that Xilite made up! It probably doesn't even exist! You just want –"

"Anyone to blame except Xilite!" Marco finished for me. "Face facts, you alien freak! Estrid, Xilite, they're both the same except that Xilite's TRYING TO KILL US! Did you miss that key detail?!"

Cassie didn't even bother speaking up. Neither did Tobias or Jake. I guess they'd figured that nothing they said would help.

[Believe as you wish.] For some reason, Ax's calm words made me feel silly. Like we were just kids insulting an adult.

I don't like that.

"All you have is her lying word!!!"

[I still trust her, Rachel. Nothing you say can convince me otherwise. If she is being controlled...she did that for me.] I sensed a tremor in his voice. I didn't care.

Suddenly, I heard a laugh. I looked up. And almost fainted.

Two of them!

"Oh, I'm such an excellent little actress," Xilite laughed. "Would you agree _yet_, Andalite?"

[Thchi...] Ax growled.

It was then that I noticed that her hand was resting delicately on ACapir's shoulder.

ACapir, the _A_Xaralite we'd had to deal with before. He'd duplicated me. He'd duplicated all of us, except Ax and Xilite.

He'd beaten us. Beaten _me_.

Being beaten heads my list of "things not to let anyone do to you."

"Oh, come off it, Andalite," ACapir smiled. Calmly. I noticed that he was using human phrases. "I suppose that you lost your place with her. If you ever WERE anything more than a tool."

Ax pulled his tail back, in preparation for a strike, almost as if he'd been stung.

Maybe he had.

"Hahaha," I snorted. "We can take everything else, but oooh, Xilite's got someone else now. So NOW we freak out?"

I noticed Tobias swooping up, preparing to come down and hit at least one of them. Had to buy time. Jake was slowly morphing. Marco was, as well. Very slowly.

Cassie and I were the decoys. Ax was frozen.

What, he'd believed everything else she'd said – why would his pitiable confidence in her waver now? Shock? Or just the greater feeling that nothing he said could change it?

The feeling of defeat?

ACapir looked from me to Cassie to Jake to Marco to Ax. He did not see Tobias. "Where is the other one? The bird? The pitiful nothlit?"

"Don't tell him!" Cassie hissed in a stage whisper, making sure that ACapir heard.

His eyes narrowed. "Where is he?!" He grabbed my arm and twisted it. I winced in pain but was silent. Tobias was ready to dive now.

Didn't Xilite know where Tobias was? Wouldn't she have told him? Why did he have to ask me?

"He was killed in battle," I forced out.

ACapir nodded, smiling cruelly. Then –

Soundlessly, without even a hawk scream, Tobias swept down and hit him in the back of his head.

"ARRRRGHHHHHH!"

Jake sped up his morph. Fur covered his body at the same time as Marco's face hardened into the gorilla's leather skin.

I was morphing now, as well. I felt myself grow taller, taller, taller...

ACapir regained his balance, whirled, and grabbed Tobias. Or, more accurately, sliced Tobias. He fell to the ground.

"Torrrriaz!" I screamed with a mouth no longer human, not yet grizzly.

"Killed in battle?" ACapir laughed. He picked up the struggling bird. "Oh, he will be."

FWAPP!

Ax hit ACapir, knocked him back, and caught Tobias with the flat of his blade.

"Slowing down?" Xilite spat quickly. Then she was once again silent. It had sounded as though she barely forced the words out.

ACapir slashed wildly at Ax. He hit him on the last blow. Blood gushed from Ax's shoulder.

[Arrrgggh!]

I was completely grizzly. I swung blindly at the filthy _A_Xaralite.

My mind was beginning to register the fact that Xilite had not been in the fight at all.

Why?

I didn't have time to think about it, though. ACapir was, quite obviously, an excellent fighter. He'd already knocked Marco, a half-morphed Cassie, and Tobias out of the fight. Jake, Ax, and I still faced him.

But for how much longer?

**

* * *

Chapter Five – Ax

* * *

**

ACapir.

Xilite had taken up with _ACapir._

I was shocked, frozen, angry. I didn't feel despair or sorrow at that moment. Just anger.

Wild anger.

I glared furiously – jealously – at ACapir.

Why? Why did it matter? Why did I care about that sickening, Xaralite monster I'd once dared to love? Why would it even matter any more?

But it did.

She had not been in the fight at all, I realized.

Why?

Why had Xilite, bloodthirsty Xilite, not joined the battle?

She had not seemed bloodthirsty. Not at first. Or had she, at first? I didn't remember. I didn't care. Rage was filling me.

I could barely see for the red obscuring my vision.

It was taking me over. I'd never be able to fight like this. Rage is a sickening, blinding emotion. There was no way I could fight.

What was going on? Why couldn't I think? Why –

I didn't care.

I aimed.

I struck!

ACapir dodged it easily. He laughed mirthlessly. "Is that the best you can do, Andalite?"

He struck Prince Jake hard. He slumped.

Faster than a tiger! The filthy _A_Xaralite obviously possessed as much speed as Xilite herself.

Rachel was preparing to hit him. I could see her, gathering herself to charge. There was no possible way for ACapir to be so familiar with Earth animals that he could tell this.

Had to distract him.

I didn't care.

There was a moment of silence. We all bristled, facing each other.

Then she struck!

ACapir twisted out of the way a full ten seconds before she could have hit him. He brought his wrist blade down, knocked her back, and then ripped a gash down her side.

[Aahhhhh!]

Her form went limp. Unconscious or dead.

And, once again, I didn't care.

I struck again, blinded by rage.

Still, Xilite had not moved. Why? Wasn't she part of this fight? Wasn't this _her_ fight? Was ACapir just her personal minion?

Why did my confidence in her, my belief that Thchi was guilty, waver now? Why?

So many unanswered questions. And, strangely enough, I did not care. I could not see anything except the veins in ACapir's throat.

From the look on his face, he could see nothing but mine.

I couldn't aim. I knew that I couldn't land a single blow on him. But I kept striking. Again and again. Blindly.

He dodged them. Easily. Laughing.

"Ax!"

The scream was forced out. By whom, I didn't know. But I dodged back in reflex.

The blow missed me by less than an inch.

Who had spoken?

None of my friends were conscious. Xilite, ACapir, and I were alone in the barn. Alone – except for their unconscious forms.

Xilite?

No. Impossible.

But I was not as enraged now. A cold, calculating force had taken over my mind. I could see clearly. The red glow had faded somewhat.

Rage would never get me anywhere.

ACapir seemed to sense the change. We faced each other. I kept one stalk eye on Xilite.

Her eyes were icy. Oh, she was beautiful. Even to my Andalite eyes, she was beautiful.

So beautiful.

What did I want to see? Her, taken over, controlled, by a power of evil so great that even I did not understand it? Her, evil herself, cruel, but at least in control of it?

Better for her to be controlled than for her to be pure evil.

ACapir struck first. I dodged back. Barely.

No, I was cut! Pain flamed through my left foreleg. Blood spurted in shallow streams.

I snapped my tail blade and an equally deep cut appeared down ACapir's arm.

Again!

"Aaaaaarrrrgh!!"

He could not suppress a scream as he grasped his arm. I'd sliced it almost halfway off. And I was still striking.

"ACapir!" Xilite cried.

For just a moment, ACapir's eyes met mine. Despite the agony he was evidently feeling from his wound, there was a look of sheer triumph.

Triumph.

He knew what he had done to me. No matter what physical pain I gave him, he had hurt me far worse.

I kept my stalk eye on Xilite, still. Her face was cold and angry when she looked at me. But her eyes...so different...

_Stupid to believe in her now,_ I thought bitterly. But, nevertheless, as she approached ACapir, I no longer struck at him. I was too afraid of hitting her.

Why?

"Are you all right?" she pleaded in a voice somewhat strained.

"Let's go," ACapir forced out. "We're done here."

He looked at me again. And still, his eyes were triumphant.

Xilite's eyes were green spheres of agony. But his showed only triumph.

Then they were gone.

I stood there in silence, quivering. Whether from the rush of battle, agony, rage, sorrow, I didn't know.

The others were waking up.

They began to demorph. Tobias was morphing and remorphing to heal his injured form. I had been worried about him.

They'd been right. It hit me like a blast of shredder fire.

I could not face them.

I whirled and started to run.

I bolted as fast as I could through the woods.

I ran for a long, long time. I didn't care about anything at that moment. Anything except getting away from the others.

Eventually I heard Tobias's thought-speak in my head as he flew, struggling to keep up. I increased my stride.

He'd made it. And he'd remorphed in record time.

I wished that he had remorphed just a little bit slower, now.

[Ax! Ax, wait!]

I ignored him.

[AX!]

I ran faster. I could not deal with him.

I could see Cassie flying out of the barn, an osprey. I could faintly hear her, too, yelling at me to stop.

[AX! Stop right there!] Faintly. Not Prince Jake's voice. Not quite as authoritative. But close enough.

Rachel.

Not her, not now. I could face Visser Three more easily than her right then.

She'd been right. All along, she'd been right.

**

* * *

Chapter Six – Xilite

* * *

**

Well. The Animorphs had escaped. Ax was certainly a good tail_fighter to land a blow on ACapir. For an Andalite, that would seem impossible.

ACapir was starting to grind my nerves, as the humans say. Not enough that Thchi had asked him to "supervise" me. Not enough...that hideous scene at the barn. Not enough that he'd tried to kill Ax. No, that wasn't enough. He had to start in with his idiotic taunts.

_No proofs of weakness. Give him nothing._

I refused to let my face show any emotion.

"Conquered? Defeated? Mighty Xilite? Impossible!" His mocking tone was beginning to get to me, as humans say. "I'm surprised you didn't find a way to _run away_ __ after all, that's what you did when the Andalites captured your people."

I was on my feet in an instant, despite my resolutions. My face was inches from his __ only then did I realize that he was about an inch taller than me __ and I was yelling.

A moment of weakness that would haunt me forever. He'd gotten a reaction.

"What did you expect me to do?!" I roared. "At least now there's hope for them!"

So weak. So weak! What was I doing?!

"Some hope," he snorted. "You're conquered, little Xairr."

"Xairr?" I said blankly, momentarily distracted from my tirade.

"Oh, you don't know?" he said condescendingly. I hated that tone. I hated everything about him, really. "You don't know what Xairr means?"

I said nothing. I would not show weakness again.

How could this have happened? My mind spun off, out of its reality, into its own crazy thoughts. How could I be conquered? How could I have shown such weakness before the leader – I'd seen that, if not in name, he was at least the leader in fact – of the forces still against my people? How could he see me so conquered?

How could I _be_ conquered?

"What? You don't beg for more information?" He laughed. "You've already shown me how weak you are. Why bother with your silly facade?"

How should I react? What should I say? Just kill him?

Could I?

I shuddered. I was asking myself if I could? Had I met my match in fighting?

Of course not! I could have beaten him, before. I could have killed him – if Thchi had not interfered.

But she always would, if I attempted to kill him.

"You accuse me of cowardice." My voice rang flat.

"You'd better believe it."

"You don't know who you're dealing with. After all, _your_ group lost on that planet. _You_ couldn't beat _me._ Thchi accomplished this, not you."

I cut myself off, angry and embarrassed. I'd admitted my own defeat.

I felt helpless.

A new feeling for me.

"Aren't you curious? Don't you want to know what a Xairr is?" He laughed again. I hated that laugh. "Don't you want to know what makes you one of them?"

I froze. I did, indeed, want to know. But I would not ask him. Never.

"Aren't you afraid of never knowing? Doesn't your scientific background make you want more knowledge?" His words were so mocking. His tone more so.

I could not say anything to him. He'd seen what few people see in me: a moment of weakness.

I'd never been so humiliated in my life.

My eyes were no longer flaming. They were cold. Cold, calculating. I was measuring the distance between us. Could I strike?

No. No violence. Violence is the proof of weakness. Some human author – Dumas – had said that. The writer of _The Three Musketeers_. Despite the fact that a human said it, I knew it was true.

And I wouldn't succeed anyway. Thchi would ensure that.

"Xairr," ACapir laughed. "Such strange creatures."

"What are they?" I found myself asking. I was horrified. Such weakness was never seen in me.

However, ACapir seemed to want me to know. To hold it over my head, whatever it was. I saw that predatory look in his eyes. And I hated it. "Xairr are a line of Xaralites."

_A line_?

"It's estimated that a Xairr is one-hundred-and-thirty percent more capable than a Xarilian." I forced myself to be silent as he continued. "The combination of a Xairr and a Xarilian is virtually unbeatable. Amazing that Thchi could do it." He looked at me, up and down. Then he smirked in a most human-like way. "Doesn't seem like much of a challenge to conquer _you_, really."

I shook with anger.

"What's interesting is that you, Xilite, are the first to be born as a combination. Or a female Xairr, for that matter."

"Rlin is, like me, a female. And if 'Xairr' is a line, then she would be a female Xairr as well, being my sister."

"She is not your sister. Just an orphan. Her parents were killed in a fighter." His cold eyes were on me again. Mine were equally expressionless – or more so. "If your Xairr ascendants could see you, conquered as you are, they'd be ashamed."

I had nothing to say. I felt helpless – beyond helpless.

How could this have happened? I asked myself the question again, receiving, like the first time, no answer.

"Your parents, however –" He shook his head. "Maybe weakness is in the family."

"They were not weak."

"You never knew them." He laughed another of his laughs. "Or maybe you did. But you would not have recognized the once-Xaralite fools."

My heartbeat quickened in excitement. "They're alive?"

Another laugh, more amused than the others. "Alive? Of course." He smiled. An evil, sickening smile, much like his laughter. "You heard Thchi, didn't you?"

I stopped short. What? He hadn't been there! Had she told him everything?

Everything of my past?

All of her plans for my future?

**

* * *

Chapter Seven – ACapir

* * *

**

She said nothing more. Typical of her, assuming there was strength in silence.

"Naturally, they are unrecognizable in comparison with their old Xaralite forms," I continued, taunting, hoping to get another rise out of her.

"Where are they?" she demanded. Then, more hesitantly, "_What_ are they?"

Then she drew back, shocked that she had, in her eyes at least, proven herself weak.

"And what could make me tell you?" I had my advantage; I intended to keep it.

Her wrist blade was at my throat in a moment. I'd forgotten just how fast she was. "This, maybe?" she suggested, pressing it tighter. "I've had all I care to take of you, ACapir. Answer me or die silent. _What are they?_"

"They're pathetic, is what they are," I said sharply. Fear! Did it show in my voice?

I would not die a coward.

She looked infuriated that I would not obey. But, judging by the look in her eyes, she had no wish to kill me until she had the information she wanted.

"As I recall, your own father tried to destroy you at some point," I said offhandedly.

Her eyes flashed. Were the puzzles falling into place for her?

"My father...?" Just as suddenly as her eyes had flashed, they went blank.

"So you're not stupid, despite your cowardice," I said as harshly as I could, taking advantage of the moment to leap backward.

She did not even attempt to strike. But her eyes were regaining their animation. I'd never seen such expressive eyes.

Or such beautiful ones.

"Yes, Xilite, your father is Zren, once a captain of the Xaralites, a military genius. And now, well..." I laughed.

Her eyes were sad. Disappointed. Horribly disappointed. She'd wanted to know who her father was, and she'd found out who he was.

I found myself feeling sorry for her. She'd wanted to be proud to be their daughter. Wanted to find them. And now...

_Not your problem, ACapir. You aren't here to comfort her._ That's what I told myself.

So sad. So lost.

And so, so beautiful.

All of a sudden, I regretted my taunts. Why? One moment I'd been ready to kill her, and the next –

Suddenly, behind Xilite, a figure solidified and came into view.

A strangely serpentine figure...

"Thchi," I said.

Xilite ignored me, eyes gradually regaining their alertness. Obviously she wanted nothing to do with me.

Not that I could blame her.

"Xilite," I said in a low voice. "Thchi is here. Look behind you."

Her eyes were flaming wildly now. "Did you call her to come help you out? Can't you fight your own battles?

I spoke in private thought-speech. [I did not call her, Xilite.] What I said next stunned me yet more. [I would not do that to you.]

[Of course not!] she raged, switching to thought-speech herself. [Of course you wouldn't do that to me! You'd taunt me, laugh over the fact that for once in my life I can't beat someone, call me a coward, mock my father – but you wouldn't call Thchi!]

She fell silent, angry at me and herself. Me for obvious reasons, herself for reacting. And, of course, at Thchi.

Why had I said that?! Was I losing my mind?! I hated her!

Didn't I?

[I would not summon that vile, filthy snake to win my battles,] I said, hoping to coax some arrogance back into my voice. [I can handle it on my own.]

[_Vile, filthy snake?_] Xilite's voice repeated aloud. In not quite her tone.

In fact, she sounded almost like Thchi.

**

* * *

Chapter Eight – Tobias

* * *

**

I felt awful. Ax had stuck up for Xilite, he'd believed in her, he'd trusted her. And I didn't know just how much this meeting had messed him up.

I flew towards his scoop.

He wasn't there. But I had a pretty good guess as to where he would be.

Just a few hours ago I'd been ready to agree with Rachel. Xilite was...Xilite. Not Thchi. And now, I wanted to be able to say that it was not true.

That he was right.

[Hi, Ax,] I said quietly. He was staring up at the stars from the bank of the creek. There was a haunted expression in his main eyes.

He hadn't even known her for that long. Not really.

I swooped around, landing just behind him. A single stalk eye slowly rotated to face me.

The other's gaze remained on the stars. He must have been so lonely. Betrayed – twice. By Estrid and by Xilite. Betrayed by Marco and Rachel, as well.

And they had been right.

_That isn't betrayal,_ I told myself, silently defending Rachel. _It was the truth, after all, wasn't it?_

Definitely not what he wanted to hear. Not now.

But she had been right. Right about Xilite. She'd seen through what Ax could not. Such foolish ideas could not be true. I knew, inside, that all he wanted was to believe that Xilite still cared for him. Believe that she had not betrayed him.

But she had.

[Ax...um...] I broke off. We needed to talk about this. But I didn't want to hurt him. [Well...yeah,] I said as quietly as I could. [Maybe...maybe you're right, Ax. Maybe she is being controlled.]

Anger was gathering on his face. I immediately registered that somehow, my words had set him off.

[You know that's not true, Tobias. You would agree with Rachel.]

Was he jealous? Jealous of the fact that Rachel and I...no, not Ax. He would not be jealous. But he was hurt.

Hurt by her, by Xilite, by all of us. Probably even by me.

I had nothing to say. He seemed beyond even pain.

He sighed sadly. [Tobias...if it were Rachel...if she had done this...]

[Rachel wouldn't __] I cut myself off. Definitely the wrong thing to say. _Oh, sure, Tobias, that's going to make him feel better._

[Oh, yes, Rachel wouldn't do this,] he snapped, going from almost lethargic to furious in a tenth of a second. [Noo, Rachel wouldn't do this.]

[Ax...really, it might not be Xilite. Maybe you were right.]

[You don't believe that anymore than I do!] he roared, now utterly enraged. At me? At Xilite?

[You can't just give up on her,] I said lamely, not realizing exactly what I'd said until he whirled. Up until then, he'd been facing away. Now, I could see the pain on his face.

[You seem to be the only one who thinks so.]

Only one. Then he had lost all faith in her. I pushed away the thought that maybe it was all for the best.

[Don't give up on her...] My voice trailed off. What was I trying to say, anyway? Why shouldn't he give up on her?

[Give up on her!] he practically shrieked. I'd never seen him this mad. [I was loyal to her memory __ memory of someone she never was __ I defended her to the others, I refused to believe it...and now I see her with __ with __] His voice broke.

[Ax. Do. Not. Give. Up.] Why was I telling him not to give up on someone who'd tried to kill him? Some last frayed shred of hopeless hope?

His forelegs literally came off the ground in a half-rear. They hit the bank of the river and scrabbled desperately to keep from collapsing in the damp earth.

His eyes glittered with a strange light. I'd seen it before – when?

His face was twisted into a sneer as he spoke.

[Shut up!]

I was shocked into silence. He had never said that. Not to any of us, least of all me.

After a few moments of quivering stillness, I spoke. [Ax, I – I'm sorry if –]

He appeared somewhat more composed. [It is my fault,] he said calmly. [I am sorry, Tobias.] He forced a laugh. A harsh, bitter laugh. [It is not your blindness that brought this. It is my own.]

There was a silence again. I attempted to break it. [You must have fought well in the battle. He got the rest of us.]

[At least she didn't fight,] he muttered. I wondered if he'd meant to speak out loud.

[She loved you, Ax,] I said, rather suddenly, with conviction. [Even...even if she is a traitor now, I know that she loved you...before.]

[Before _what_? What do you base your theory on? What would have happened to change it? What would I have –]

[I don't know. But I know that she did.]

[How?]

Then, just as suddenly, as though he didn't want to admit that he had hope, he turned away. [I will see you later,] he said coldly.

I took that as my cue to exit. I flapped my wings and rose into the night air.

I wondered if my words had helped him at all. I wondered if I'd merely hurt him, and done no good.

But maybe he had been right about her. Maybe it was Thchi. Maybe it was the rest of us who were blind.

And maybe he did, still, have hope.

**

* * *

Chapter Nine – Ax

* * *

**

There was a meeting.

One of the last places in the universe that I wanted to be. Ever again.

"Hi, Ax," Cassie said as I came in. "Um, how are you?"

I ignored her. I couldn't deal with the pity right then.

Tobias, my shorm, was silent. I supposed he had nothing to say.

I didn't want to face it, I suppose. I'd made a fool of myself. I had stood up for her, I had tried to forget the little voice inside telling me that Rachel, that Marco was right. And I had been proven wrong.

But even Rachel was silenced.

Why? Why didn't she enjoy her moment of triumph?

Suddenly Marco stomped in. His cold eyes surveyed the barn and stopped when they saw me. "Oh, Ax, you didn't bring Xilite?" he sneered. "No, I forgot; she's got ACapir, she doesn't need you."

I should not have cared. I had thought I was beyond caring.

I was wrong.

[Be silent, human,] I warned as calmly as I could. Not very calmly. My tail blade twitched.

I had almost snapped that night. The dreams...

"Does the truth hurt? Don't want to face the fact I was right?"

[You will be silent. Or you will be silenced.]

"Don't threaten," Prince Jake said.

I "glared knives" at Prince Jake, as I believe the human phrase goes. I did not care about him then. I did not care about anything except the image in my mind – striking at Marco –

I shouldn't feel like this. He was one of us. I was one of them. Wasn't I?

"Wouldn't dare cross Prince Jake?" he purred. "Even in defense of your precious Xilite?"

FWAPP!

The small gash on his arm shut his mouth rather quickly.

"Ax!" Jake yelled. "I don't care how messed up your life is, I don't CARE what your problems are, I don't CARE what you think of Xilite, but deal with it!"

"Ah, yes, immortal words of comfort," said drily the last person on this planet that I'd have expected to back me up.

Rachel was glaring at Jake and Marco, looking about as mad as I'd ever seen her.

**

* * *

Chapter Ten – ACapir

* * *

**

Thchi informed us that the Animorphs had had a little fight amongst themselves. Between the angry one, the leader, and the sarcastic one. I almost wished that I had witnessed it.

But that would be tolerable. After all, I had a more exciting fight to witness.

Actually, to participate in.

To be specific – I had a more exciting fight to _start._

I didn't know why. But, out of all of them, the Andalite was the only one about whose death I cared one way or the other. I hated him.

Why?

_Do I need a reason?_ I asked myself. My assignment was to kill them. To break the spirit of Xilite. Then I would return to my planet, my mission accomplished, and Xilite would serve under Thchi as her tool. Spirit broken. Unable to resist at all.

Was that what I wanted?

I could not help wishing that it was different. Different between us. But I had my assignments and I would carry them out.

Thchi already distrusted me enough. She'd heard my comment to Xilite. And I was fortunate to still be alive.

I hated that thought. I wanted to tell myself that I could have won. But I could barely handle _Xilite_, let alone Thchi.

_Xilite is a great warrior,_ I thought defensively, despite the fact that I was defending myself to no one _but_ myself. _You could beat any other Xaralite._

Was that true?

Xilite was the only Xaralite left. And, with my natural arrogance, I could not help believing – or hoping – that if I'd been involved in that war between her people and the others, _none_ would be left.

But then, I've always been rather arrogant.

I wanted this Andalite to suffer.

Why? Because she cared for him? I'd been taunting enough to her. I'd thought that I hated her. And then, in one moment...

I shook the thoughts off and left.

That Andalite would pay.

_For what?_ some logical part of me asked. _For the fact that she cares about him?_

No. He would pay because he had beaten me in the barn. I needed no other reason.

I materialized by an Earth river. I laughed to myself. This should be interesting.

"Well, hello, Andalite," I said. "Heard from Xilite lately?"

His head snapped up. His tail snapped back in preparation for a strike. [ACapir!]

"Very good," I mocked.

[What do you want?] he snarled. I raised an eyebrow. I'd never seen an Andalite so angry. Or an Andalite with such strange eyes.

They glittered with a light I'd seen before. I had no time to remember where.

"Merely...amiable relations," I replied sardonically. He knew that was not what I wanted as well as I did.

[Amiable?!] His tail blade quivered. I could tell that he was calculating how well he could strike. Whether or not he could hit me.

He couldn't. He knew that, as well.

"Upset, aren't you? About losing what you never had?"

[Get out of here!] he roared. I could tell that it was beginning to affect him. The Animorphs. Xilite's "betrayal."

Me.

" 'Get out of here'? Now why in the galaxy or out of it would I want to do that?" I smirked. "I just thought you might like a little...conversation...with AXilite's confidant."

[You lie,] he said simply. I understood the implication. Did he believe in her now?

I felt a flash of anger. She was never meant to be his.

"She really never cared for you, Andalite. Your race destroyed her world, after all. You were so _weak_ that someone like AXilite could never feel anything but contempt toward you." I tried to force out a smirk. But I knew all too well that she _did_ care for him. And that spurred me on.

I could see hesitation on his face. He did not want to believe my words. But Xilite had hated the Andalites __ did hate them, he knew that __ and she despised weakness.

He did not say anything.

"Tell me, Andalite. Did you _truly_ believe yourself to be immune from her _xilinni_ power? Were you that arrogant, that blind?"

[What do you...] He paled visibly as my words sank in. [It was a gradual immunity,] he said lamely. [But it was there...]

"Was it, Andalite? Was this illusion so real to you? She made you believe that she cared. She made you defend her. And she controlled you, making you believe that you cared for her __" I paused. "Oh, I forgot, you _do_ care for her. You saw only what you wanted to see. She would have had you killed in that Earth ocean, but you care for her."

[You are lying,] he accused. But there was less conviction in his voice. This was determined beyond a doubt when his tail blade hurtled toward me.

He was out of things to say. He had no ideas except to kill the creature who brought this on him.

I stepped aside, allowing his tail blade to lodge in the tree behind me.

"So sorry. But you are far too slow."

He yanked his tail blade back and struck again. I barely dodged this time. But rage was overtaking him, and I could tell that he would not be able to aim for long. No one can fight when rage alone controls them. The Andalite was no exception.

"What's the matter? Can't think of a ready retort? Not as quick on your verbal feet as on your literal ones? Not that that's very fast..."

My comment backfired. He drew his tail blade back and analyzed the landscape as his eyes cleared. Pointless, I was sure.

Then he struck!

The blow sent me careening backward. I hit the trunk of a thick Earth tree.

FWAPP!

His tail blade was pressed against my throat.

He was fast.

And, judging by his face, he was angry.

So was I.

**

* * *

Chapter Eleven – Ax

* * *

**

His throat was pressed against the bark of the tree. I could see the blood being pumped through his system. I forced myself to stay calm. If I wanted information from the vile creature, I'd get it now.

[Fast enough,] I said coolly in response to his earlier comment.

His eyes blazed.

Was he right about Xilite?

_Of course he is,_ I thought bitterly. _I _was_ nothing more than a tool to her._

The words hurt, their searing truth most of all.

I wanted to blame ACapir. But it was not his fault that she was a traitor.

[I could kill you, here,] I said for lack of anything else to say. I wanted to see fear in his eyes. And I did, somewhere at the very back.

"You could."

He wasn't a coward, I'd give him that.

[Are you allied with Thchi?]

"That mythical creature that Xilite dreamed up?"

I flinched despite myself. Was there no end to her lies?

[What were you doing here?]

He smiled cruelly. "Exchanging amiable relations, what else?"

I tightened my tail blade. He gasped for air. [You had another purpose. One does not come to exchange amiable relations, as you put it, without some motive. Not with enemies. Your relations are not amiable and we are certainly not friends.]

"Rivals, perhaps?"

His words surprised me. So did the look on his face. Almost envious.

[Not according to you,] I said coldly. He wanted me to believe that she did not care for me – and I _did_ believe that much, didn't I? Couldn't I accept the truth staring me in the face?

"She was not meant for you," he sneered. "Not for a sickening Andalite."

Suddenly a phrase of his – a phrase he'd used earlier – caught my attention. _Your race destroyed her world, after all._

But if she was an _A_Xaralite, how was it _her_ world?

Was he lying?

[You claim that we Andalites destroyed her world. Your world, too, I assume? What planet do the _A_Xaralites inhabit?]

He hesitated just a moment. "Merely pointing out errors in your own philosophies. After all, if she _was_ a Xaralite – a ridiculous idea – then your race would have destroyed her world. And I can assure you that someone like her would have wasted no time in destroying you. But you, as it turns out, did her a favor. The true Xilite could not have been duplicated if your race had not, at least partially, arranged it."

It made sense. But I wanted so much to believe that he was lying.

"She loved _me_. Do you know how much it put her through to even make a pretense of –"

I tightened my tail blade still more. He gasped again, almost unable to talk.

I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear those words. I didn't want to face the reality that those words, sickening as they were, were true.

She loved him.

Not me.

Used. Used by Estrid, by Xilite – AXilite. It hurt to face that. It hurt very much.

"She was never yours," he gasped out, his tone somehow rising despite his situation. A wild look blazed in his eyes. "She would _never_ care about you. Weak as you are –"

[You're the one who lost this little battle.]

Had to act like it didn't bother me. But ACapir was no fool.

"Why would you even bother holding on to hope?" he raged. "Why would you even _care_ about someone like her, now that you know what she is?!"

What was his game?

Was he telling the truth?

For some reason, I _did_ feel hope. Merely a defense against facing reality, the truth – all those unpleasant facts that I simply could not deny rationally.

I wanted so much to believe that he was lying.

He had to be.

But I knew that he was not.

[You have not answered me.] I lessened the pressure on his throat somewhat – at least enough that he could speak. [Why did you come here?]

"You didn't enjoy my little visit?" he sneered. "Then I suppose I'll leave."

Quite suddenly, he evaporated. I slashed with my tail blade and ripped a hole in the bark of the tree. I slashed again in pure rage.

I knew that I was foolish to let myself run on that emotion. But within moments, I'd slashed through the trunk of the huge tree. It fell.

Rage. I couldn't use it. Rage and hatred – two of the most useless feelings a creature is capable of feeling.

And, judging by my past experiences, I was soon to add love to the list.

**

* * *

Chapter Twelve – Rachel

* * *

**

I soared up in the night air. My soundless flight did not make a single creature in the dark forest below look up. Fortunately for them, this owl wasn't interested in a meal.

How could she be a traitor?

Even though I hadn't admitted it to myself – to anyone – I'd hoped desperately that Ax was right. I'd known that he wasn't, yet, despite my cynicism, I had envied the faith he had in her.

We were friends. Or I'd _thought_ we were friends. But I was just one of her six tools.

There was no doubt of that now.

And now, now that the situation was impossible, I felt drained. Drained and hopeless and still clinging to hope with some part of my irrational mind. Wanting someone – anyone – to tell me that she _was_ being controlled.

It's never easy to lose a friend. Especially not that way. Knowing that she never _was_ a friend.

I looked down, sighing. There was a small river below me. Stars reflected in it.

And on the bank stood an Andalite.

[Ax?]

He did not move at all. [Rachel.]

His tone was drained of all emotion, all energy. Lethargic. Uncaring. I winced. I'd never heard him sound like that.

[Why are you here?]

Now there was accusation in his tone. I almost preferred that to the deadened sound that it had had before.

[I can't sleep.] I was too tired to even throw in a do-you-have-a-problem-with-that at the end of my statement.

That's _tired._

[Ah.]

[Why are you here?] His scoop was at least a short run away.

[I didn't know I had to report to you.]

[Well, if you're going to snap at me, maybe I should just leave you alone.]

[That would be a wonderful idea.]

[Or not. Ax, what is your problem?]

[Rachel, just...leave me alone. Please.] His voice sounded drained again. But mine was beginning to gather fire.

[No, Ax. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!]

[Rachel. Leave me alone. I don't want to talk about this now.]

[I don't care,] I said, landing and beginning to demorph. [You're _going_ to talk about it. Ax, I'm trying to help.]

[You want to HELP?] he demanded incredulously. [You could have done so by letting me deal with this situation myself. You could have done so by staying out of it, instead of interfering. And now you want to help.] The last words were flat, yet somehow managed to sound angry despite the dryness of the tone.

_Was he just using human phrases?_ I wondered.

Even if I'd had something to say to that, I couldn't have said it, because I was sufficiently demorphed not to use thought-speak, but my mouth was still unformed.

He turned and began to walk away. I could understand that. I'd been a jerk through all this, and now I showed up when – for some reason – he was at an all-time low.

Of course, I can understand that _now_. At that time, I ignored the fact and kept demorphing.

"Ax. Come. Back. NOW," I ordered when I was done demorphing.

He ignored me.

And so, I went after him.

"Ax, just TELL me why you're in such a freaking bad mood!"

I was losing my temper. Big time.

He spun around, an odd flame in his glittering green eyes.

"Um, Ax? Don't completely lose it on me, okay?"

But it was too late for that admonishment; his tail blade came hurtling toward me, and then..

Then, I blacked out.

**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen – Cassie

* * *

**

I waited impatiently, staring at the clock through the class period. Rachel and I had this class together. And she still hadn't shown up.

I expected, in the back of my mind, the classic student-not-paying-attention-so-the-teacher-asks-this-humiliating-question-that-he/she-should-get-right scenario. And the teacher, being a wonderful person, did not disappoint me.

"Cassie?"

"Um, what?"

"Answer the question for us, please." One look at the teacher's face and I knew that she knew that I'd just been zoned out. So she was going to make me a living warning to the rest of the class.

I felt so honored.

Really.

"Um..." My face was bright red. "1865."

The look on her face was sheer amazement. "What...?" She shook her head and then smiled in a shocked way. "Y-yes, you're right..."

"Oh." I wondered what the question had been.

The rest of the class snickered.

I made it through the class period, then bolted towards the door. I dumped my books in my locker, slammed it closed, and ran outside.

I had a flash of the time when we'd all gotten that flu thing. Well, all except me. But that wasn't the problem now, and I knew it.

I walked casually outside, forcing myself not to run. As soon as I was a good ways away, I did run. I didn't know if I'd get caught, and I didn't care.

A logical part of me knew that Rachel could just be sick. But for some reason, it felt like Animorphs just didn't _get_ sick. You know? We're saving the world here.

But we're only human.

I found a secluded area. And then I morphed.

I rose into the air, my panicked mind racing too fast to note the thermal lifting me up. It was a beautiful day. But all I cared about was finding Rachel.

What if...

I should have called her house. But I felt like there wasn't enough time.

Stupid. If she was dead or captured by the Yeerks, time didn't matter anymore.

The woods.

I'd ask Ax if he'd seen her. Maybe she'd just lost it and gone flying, skipping school or something. I zoomed toward his scoop.

There was a beautiful river below. I looked down.

No!

No, no, no!

The crumpled form of a human lay sprawled just beside the river.

I couldn't tell who it was. But in my heart, even before I swooped down closer, I knew.

I knew, from the blond hair covered with a layer of dirt. I knew, from the features hidden by her long hair. I knew, from the morphing outfit. I knew.

I'd found Rachel.

I prayed that she was alive.

**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen – Tobias

* * *

**

[Tobias! _Tobias_!]

I looked up to see an osprey. One of Cassie's morphs.

Her thought-speak voice had sounded frantic. I felt instinctive panic creep into my own. [What's the matter, Cassie?]

[Rachel...she's...] Her voice trailed off.

I felt like a sharp icicle had been dragged into my stomach. [Rachel? What about Rachel?]

[I found her body in the woods.] Cassie's voice was flat. Stunned.

[Her WHAT?!] I shrieked.

[I...I don't think she's...] Her voice broke. [Get Ax. I'll get the others...I'm going to try and drag her to the barn...]

I was shocked. Stunned. Horrified, as I banked sharply, dove, not even enjoying the rush of a controlled fall.

I flew automatically, the route so familiar, to a conversation I did not want. I was not looking forward to explaining the problem to Ax.

[Ax!]

[Tobias?] The Andalite stepped calmly out of his scoop. [Is something wrong?]

[Yeah. Um, Cassie sent me. We're having a meeting. She found...found Rachel...]

[Really?] Ax's voice was coldly polite. [Where?]

I detected something wrong in his voice. A lack of interest. But then, he and Rachel hadn't been getting along well lately.

[In, um, in the woods, I think...] I trailed off.

Even if he wasn't exactly Rachel's best friend, he ought to be more interested in this turn of events.

The possibility of an attack by Xilite – AXilite.

[I think AXilite probably did it.]

[No.] Now there was just a hint of emotion. Then suddenly, his face was drawn back into a sneer. [Really, Tobias? I thought you believed that it was Thchi, no? I'm glad that you can see through her lies now.]

[AXILITE ISN'T THE POINT OF THE MEETING!] I yelled, though I knew that's what it would end up being. [Rachel is! Can't you think about OTHER people's problems for five minutes?!]

[Is she dead?] Ax inquired in the same coldly polite tone.

My heart stopped. I knew that was a possibility. [I...I'm not sure...]

[Ah.] He began to morph. Slowly. Taking his time.

[Ax..] He was too calm. Too bored. [Ax.. did you know about this?]

[How could I possibly know about it?] I detected a hint of amusement in his voice. A horrible possibility formed in my mind.

[Ax. What. Happened. To. Rachel.]

[Obviously she was attacked, Tobias.]

[By who?] I asked in a deadpan voice.

[You expect me to know?]

The tone of his voice clinched it for me. [Yes, Ax. Yes, I do.]

[She refused to leave.]

I froze.

_No, no, no._

[AX, WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!]

[She had no right to be there.] Not a hint of remorse. Nothing.

[No right to be where?]

[Where she was.]

[Cassie found her by the river. And as far as I know, this is OUR planet, and you don't own every spot in this forest.]

[I asked her to leave. She refused and attempted to follow me.]

[Last I checked, following somebody was not a death penalty offense!] I shrieked.

[I don't know if she is dead. She is, quite possibly, alive.]

[If you did it, you ought to know. And you ought to care.]

[You expect me to?]

[Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.]

[Care about someone like her?] He laughed derisively. [Care about a rage machine? The only downside to her death is that we have lost a warrior.]

[We've lost a FRIEND, Ax,] I shrieked, [because YOU can't control yourself!]

He stiffened. [It was not a matter of control, Tobias.]

[Oh? And why not?]

[It was a matter of stupidity on her part. One does not taunt someone endlessly, incessantly, and then attempt to follow them after a request to leave.]

[It was a matter, Ax, of you killing her just for following you!]

[I gave her a chance to leave.]

[Yeah, and when she tried to follow, you...] I couldn't finish.

How could she be dead?

Not Rachel. Anyone but Rachel.

[I merely stopped her.] His now_bird eyes turned to me as he flapped his way off the ground. [Do not worry, Tobias. She is probably not dead.]

[PROBABLY?!] I yelled. Didn't he CARE that he had quite possibly killed Rachel?

[What did you expect, Tobias? How long can I be expected to endure her comments? Her odious presence?]

[Ax, it isn't like you to go.. go _kill_ a member of our group, and then act like it's inconsequential!]

Still, not a flicker of remorse showed on his face. But there was something else. A deep sorrow.

[This all boils down to Xilite, doesn't it?] I said bitterly. [All of it. Everything you've done. All these fights between you and Rachel __ all for that cursed Xaralite. Or _A_Xaralite, whichever she is. EVERYTHING involves her. The sickening monster.]

[You all want to blame her for everything. ACapir was __] He fell silent suddenly. Then, when he spoke again, his voice was stony and angry. [She was a fool, Tobias. Rachel was a fool.]

[And you weren't, Ax? You were the one who trusted AXilite absolutely. YOU were the tool she could always count on. YOU are the one she affected most. And you call Rachel a fool.]

It was a cheap shot.

I didn't care.

[Where are your loyalties, Ax? Not with the Andalites. But are they with us? Or do you care only for yourself? What ARE you loyal to?]

His cold harrier eyes turned to meet mine. [I suppose you'll always wonder.]

He spread his wings and flew.

**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen – Cassie

* * *

**

Tobias told us what had happened.

Ax arrived last. He was late. And he definitely took his time demorphing.

Whatever I expected to see on his face, I didn't. No remorse. No guilt. Just...nothing.

"Hello." My voice rang flat. Rachel was alive. But he definitely hadn't been a help.

I have to give her credit. She had courage.

"Many sarcastic thanks for leaving me unconscious in the woods, _Aximili_."

He did not even flinch. [You're welcome, _Rachel._]

Marco spoke scathingly. "You'd think someone as _intelligent_ as Ax is supposed to be would have mastered the concept of sarcasm by now."

"Ax, what on earth were you thinking of?" Jake asked calmly. I could tell how stressed_out he was. But, quite probably, no one else noticed. "We attack YEERKS, not each other. I can't believe __"

"Unless you happen to be an _A_Xaralite," Marco threw in scornfully.

"Exactly," Jake agreed. Now _everyone_ knew he was stressed out. Jake doesn't take cheap shots. He just doesn't.

"The _almighty_ Andalites attack their comrades?" Marco snorted derisively. "What kind of species is that?"

[Comrades?]

[Ax? I really want to know this. How did you end up being the brother of Elfangor?]

He did flinch at that. Flinched and turned his main eyes up to stare at Tobias. Andalite faces don't betray much. But I saw shock.

I was shocked, too. I'd never heard Tobias say anything with such contempt.

Or seen that strange light...

[I...I don't...] He hesitated.

"Good question, Tobias," I said, surprising myself. But I just didn't care how cruel it sounded. I couldn't believe what Ax had done.

"After all," Rachel continued laconically, "Elfangor was a hero."

Marco smirked. "And you...well..."

I could see the pain in his eyes. That had stung. But I just didn't care. Rachel could be dead. She could have been found by the Yeerks – or for a freaking wolf, for crying out loud! – and killed, or worse. So he deserved it.

[Is the sole purpose of this meeting to achieve a form of verbal revenge?]

I saw the weary sadness in Jake's eyes. We'd all decided this, it wasn't just him, but still...

I shook the thought off. We couldn't have Ax as a danger to us. We just couldn't.

But we'd fought together for so long. And we were his only friends. His people were on another planet.

I looked at Rachel. There was a slight bruise on the side of her head, evidence of the blow. _Are we really his friends?_

"No," Jake said finally. "That isn't the purpose."

He took a deep breath. "The purpose is to tell you that we don't ally with people who are a danger to us. We don't ally with people who open us up to be captured."

I remembered how he'd struck Marco before. He couldn't handle it. Couldn't handle being one of us.

"And so...well...I'm sorry. But Ax...you're no longer one of us."

[I understand.] Still, no remorse! [And I am sorry, as well, that it came to this. But it has. We can no longer coexist as allies.] He rotated a stalk eye to stare at each member of the group. [Goodbye.]

**

* * *

Chapter Sixteen – Ax

* * *

**

I would miss the Animorphs. Especially my shorm, Tobias. My "nephew," as the humans would say.

We had fought many battles together. More than I could count. I had stood by them on Leera, when Arbat came, and many times before.

Why was it different now?

I had no logical explanation for my behavior. Did I regret it?

Quite suddenly, my legs gave out.

[Ah!]

What was happening?

My vision swirled. I could see – nothing! Nothing except wildly spinning colors and whirling landscape...

FLASH!

I opened my eyes. White was all around. Everywhere.

I could barely see anything. Then, as my vision cleared, I could see a Xaralite.

[Xilite!] I was unable to keep the emotion out of my voice. I wanted to believe in her...wanted to believe...

"Aximili. I'm sorry I had to reach you like this." Her eyes were sad. So sad. "Aximili...ACapir was not truthful. He...lied."

My hearts leapt to my throat. As much as I wanted to believe her, how could I?

[How do I know I can believe you?] I said calmly. But my mind was racing. If she used a disguise, how could I possibly see through it?

"You cannot. I.. I wish there were some way that you could." She raised her emerald eyes to meet mine. "I can't prove my innocence. I never will be able to, I suppose. I just wanted you to know that I'll never betray you like that."

[I want to believe you, Xilite. More than anything.]

I wondered if she heard the pain in my voice. I wondered if she knew why I kept that cold look on my face.

"But you cannot. Not for certain. You can not know I am truthful."

Somehow, somehow the admission that she could not prove innocence was more proof than any defense she could make.

[No. I cannot.] I hesitated just a second more. [But I believe you, Xilite.]

There was a silence. Then, in a soft voice, she spoke. "I was...was told...what happened, Ax."

[By Thchi?]

I could not imagine what this would be like for her, the unconquerable Xilite.

To be conquered.

A look of fresh pain crossed her face. "Yes."

[Xilite...do you think you'll ever be free?] I regretted the question as soon as I had spoken it. It was not probable.

She said nothing for a moment. Then, returning to the subject, said, "I was told about Rachel. And Jake. It is my fault, Ax. This whole thing is my fault."

[No, it's not. Thchi. Not you.]

She smiled slightly, a little bit less sadly. "I have much to tell you. All of you."

Quite suddenly, they appeared.

**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen – Xilite

* * *

**

"YAH!" Marco yelped.

"What the..."

[Xilite!] Tobias hissed. [_A_Xilite, I should say,] he corrected himself.

"Just Xilite," I said with a sad smile.

"So, in other words, you're contradicting yourself? Make up your mind. Which is it?"

"Xilite, Rachel. My name is Xilite. No matter what that filth tells you."

"Don't start in with that again," Marco snapped. "We all know __"

"If I was who she says I am, then you'd be dead by now."

"Oh? Are we supposed to take your word for that?"

I shrugged. "I suppose. Although it really isn't much to go on. For all you know, I could be controlled now and setting a trap _or_ I could be _A_Xilite. I'm not. But I can't prove that to you."

[I believe her.]

Marco's head snapped around. "Big surprise," he said scornfully.

"Marco," Rachel said. "Are you _ever_ going to stop?"

I glanced at her in surprise. From what I knew, she was neither my ally nor Aximili's. Was she just picking a fight with Marco?

"What? WHAT?! The idiot alien freak knocks you out and leaves you unconscious in the woods and now you're __"

"I may have some information on that," I interrupted gently. "Thchi has been...influencing...you. There is only one evidence of her influence: a strange yellow light in the eyes. I do not believe that any of you would have acted as you have in the past few days without an influence of some sort."

I smiled slightly at their expressions. Shock was evident on their faces. They had not realized that none of them were safe.

"It's no longer about just me. Thchi has considered Crayak's plan of a single race, dominated by her. And she has chosen the Yeerks. She loves control. She loves crushing a host beneath her. Naturally, she would be drawn to them."

"I'm surprised the two of you don't get along just fine," Marco said scathingly.

I smiled another sad smile. "There is a long history between us. Too long for me to even contemplate. We would never have 'gotten along just fine' as you put it. But that's not the issue now."

I surveyed their faces. Their interest was piqued by my words. But I'd rather die than tell them who I was.

Who my parents were.

I continued.

"She wants you dead. All of you. Her plans have changed. Before, it was just to crush me. But now...she wants Earth gone. And to do that, she has to get rid of you."

I heard the human phrases and sighed inwardly. Would I ever get rid of that human I had acquired during my years on Earth?

[What about the Rules?] Tobias asked.

"Thchi doesn't go by 'the Rules.' Thchi has her own range of power, no equals to bother with. Thchi would kill anyone who tried to force 'the Rules' on her. She'd kill anyone who suggested that she abide by 'the Rules.' "

"So why not just obliterate us out of existence?" Jake wondered. I could see apprehension on his face. He was responsible for the rest of them.

Like I'd been responsible for the Xaralites.

"Because Thchi, like Crayak, wants fear. And Thchi's power is...diminished slightly." I could guess at the reason for that. But they did not need to know.

[So what is there to be done about it?] Ax asked me.

I maintained my calm look despite the rush of emotion inside. Was this the only way? Was there some other...

No. There was not.

"Thchi must be killed. Unfortunately, not even I have that much power."

Had to maintain my arrogance. Couldn't let him know. He'd never allow it. And there was so much more to be considered.

"If the power of the Chee, your individual powers, and my power is concentrated in a single person, Thchi could be destroyed. There would be no danger to the warrior. And she must be stopped."

"Would you be free?" Rachel asked softly.

I did not know how to answer. Inside myself, I did not want this. But what I wanted was not the issue. _I_ was not the issue. Earth was.

Maybe...just maybe...my people would have hope...

"Yes."

It was true, in a way.

I would no longer be a slave.

[I will do it,] Ax said calmly. I could see the hope in his eyes.

Not him. This would destroy him inside, even if there was no physical danger.

But I could not let him know.

"Tomorrow," I stated. "Tomorrow. I'll try and distract her – or something. In this white expanse" – I motioned to the huge space around us – "she very rarely attempts to control me." I made a small smile. "It's not worth it to her. She'd never admit it, but I'm growing stronger. She did not expect that."

I was growing stronger. She could not keep using me. Why did it have to come to this?

But maybe I would fail. In a moment of weakness, maybe she would succeed.

No risks could be taken. Earth hung in the balance.

_I'm sorry, Ax._

I did not say it out loud. After all, he could never know.

But inwardly, I sighed.

I locked him out of the communication. He would wake up, remembering the part of the dream that he had seen. But I had more to tell the Animorphs.

"He did not mean to act as he did," I informed them. "Please...please forgive him. It was not his fault. And your reaction was not your fault. Thchi has had a hand in this."

"He could have resisted her. It wasn't strong enough," Marco objected.

"Please, Marco. You are all he has. His planet is far away."

"He'll have you," Marco countered.

"No. He won't."

They stared.

"What?"

"A small part of Thchi exists within me permanently."

[So you'll go on in her footsteps?] Tobias asked, not yet understanding.

"No."

"You'll die," Cassie said, the first to figure it out.

I kept my head held high, maintained my arrogant expression. Had to be strong. "Sacrifices must be made. Would you rather Earth be lost?"

"You knew this?" Rachel said softly.

[Ax won't be able to take it,] Tobias snapped. [You die – and it's _his_ fault for killing her –]

"You have no choice," I retorted. "No choice, Tobias! Your planet will be lost. And," I added with a significant glance, "your father will have died in vain."

He blinked his hawk eyes. He would not object again, I knew that much.

"Isn't there any way..." Jake said hesitantly.

I smiled sadly. "Don't worry about me, Jake. You're responsible for them. Not me."

They still seemed to hesitate.

"Look, I've seen one planet fall. Xarila...that still haunts me. I won't watch Earth fall. The Yeerks are enough trouble. But Thchi? You can't handle her. I can barely maintain control of myself long enough to keep you alive in the battles. The only reason I didn't fight last time was that Thchi knew I would resist. She's tired now. You have to strike."

"Your people," Cassie said softly. "They'll –"

"You think I don't know?!" I cried, my voice full of anguish. "They're doomed! I'm the last hope for them, I know that! But Earth isn't doomed yet. You still have hope, Cassie, they don't. I can't keep living in the past. The Xaralites are already lost."

I straightened. "I cannot ask you to fight for the Xaralites. But I ask you to fight for Earth."

"We will," Marco said. I could see that it bothered him. They were, in effect, bringing about my death. I knew that it would haunt them. But Earth was so much more important.

_A death in honor is better than a life of slavery_. I remembered the words I'd heard. Wondered if my father had ever been any different than he was now. Wondered...

But they were not the issue.

The Animorphs would destroy him, eventually. They would destroy him because he was their enemy. They would destroy him, never knowing that as they did they destroyed the last living Xairr.

After all, I'd be dead by then.

My father...if he was still the Xaralite he had been, somewhere inside, would he be proud of me?

I was significantly slowing his plans for Earth by keeping the Animorphs alive. If Thchi killed them, then he'd have Earth. No contest.

But my father – my real father – would have been proud of me. He would have wanted me to do this.

My father.

Visser Three.

I hoped that my eyes were not sorrowful. Hoped they blazed with life – even if only for a little while longer. Hoped that they saw in me Xilite, the warrior, not Xilite, the conquered Xaralite. The last of her line.

The last of her race.

No. I wanted them to see me as the warrior they had known.

"A death in honor is better than a life of slavery," I said with all the conviction I could muster. I looked at Tobias. "Tell him that when I'm gone."

**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen – ACapir

* * *

**

I knew that they had come. I had seen it. Most of it.

I knew how much she was giving up. She was going to die. Die for Earth.

A planet, a race that she did not belong to. It was nothing to her. She should remain alive, to fight for her own race.

Why did she not?

I would not have wanted to tell Thchi. But I did not want her to die. And that cursed Andalite...

That sealed it.

I suddenly appeared before Thchi. She deigned to turn one massive eye towards me.

"Xilite has conspired with the Animorphs," I said, wasting no time. "They are scheming to destroy you."

*Me!* She laughed. *They overestimate themselves.*

"They hope to enlist the help of the Chee."

*Hah!*

"If they kill you, Xilite knows that she will die."

Thchi was many things. But stupid was not one of them. *Ah, yes. This is what you wish to guard against? The death of Xilite? You were supposed to be on my side.*

_Such a human phrase,_ I thought. "I...Xilite should not die for a planet she does not know."

*Do I care one way or the other about her death?!*

"The only way _she_ will die is if _you_ die. And you would care very much about that, no?"

Her eyes blazed. But she was forced to see my logic. *Perhaps. But it is of no consequence. The Chee and these Animorphs pose no threat whatsoever to me.*

"Joined with Xilite's power..."

*Xilite cannot control her power, now. _I_ am the more powerful one. And _I_ can control her.*

"Still, would it not be better to take some precaution...?"

*NO!* she roared. *I need no help! I am the most powerful! They cannot stop me! I NEED NO HELP!*

_Foolish creature,_ I hissed silently.

But, I reminded myself, why would I care about Xilite's death?

Why?

* * *

"Interesting plan, Xilite," I said, materializing suddenly.

Her head snapped up. But she remained calm. "Yes, isn't it?"

"So you're not a fool. You don't deny it."

"Obviously you know. What good would there be in it?"

"You'd sacrifice yourself for Earth. For that Andalite. For those human fools."

"Yes."

So unhesitating. But I saw something lurking in the back of her eyes. She did not want this to happen.

"Xilite, you don't have to die. Join us. Thchi –"

"I would never become a _voluntary_ tool, as you are, ACapir. That's nothing more than weakness. At least I have the courage to fight."

"Thchi is unafraid," I said calmly. "The Chee and the Animorphs don't have the power to destroy her. And you, being controlled by her, will be no help."

She raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps."

"I see how you lost that war."

Her eyes widened. I knew just how volatile she was when it came to the war on Xarila. She'd failed. And she knew it.

Suddenly her eyes narrowed, just as suddenly. She smiled. "You're too late to do anything about it. And you lost this fight, ACapir. You cannot beat me. Not in a fight – without the help of Thchi – or in a match of power. Admit it, you have _lost._"

"And your race lost to mine."

"Not to _yours._ Your race is a warped version of mine."

"Your race lost to the Hrisk. The Yisudyts. The Andalites." I saw another way to attack. "The _Andalites._ Like that infernal Andalite you care so much about. His race did it."

"Yes. They did."

"And you still care for him."

"Yes. I do. Not all of them are the same."

"You're going to die through this plan. Die! You'll never –"

"I know how much I'm giving up. As I told them, I've watched one planet fall. I won't watch Earth fall too."

"I'll still be fighting for Thchi," I snapped. "I don't have that part of her inside me. Your sacrifice will be for nothing. I'll still fight those Animorphs."

My voice rose. "I'll kill that Andalite. I'll kill him!"

She looked surprised. "You seem to hate him much more than the rest."

I maintained my clear gaze. Why _did_ I hate him more?

Because of her?

This was insane. I didn't love her. I didn't care about her!

So why did I hate the Andalite?

"Why do you care if I die?" she growled, not waiting for my response. "Why do you CARE?! I'd think that you'd be thrilled, ACapir."

"Thchi will lose a warrior," I said lamely. Why _did_ I care about her death?

"Thchi will lose her life," she shot back. "For what she did to my planet. My parents. My father."

"And for what she did to you?" I retorted. "Is this all about revenge?"

"No," she said, voice going from almost yelling to almost whispering. "It's about Earth. It's about the Animorphs. It's about the people there."

"And it's about the Andalite."

"No. It's not. If it was, I'd attempt to stay alive. And why would you care if it was?"

Her words were a challenge. One that I did not intend to answer.

Especially since I didn't know myself.

**

* * *

Chapter Nineteen – Rachel

* * *

**

We met at the barn the next day. It was a weekend, thankfully. I'd spent Friday knocked out in the woods, so it was a longer weekend for me.

By mutual agreement, Ax was still one of us. After all, this "Thchi" had been messing with all of us. None of us had been 100% ourselves lately.

"So we're doing this," I said, not able to look Ax in the eyes.

[Of course.]

"I...I don't –" Cassie started to say.

I shot her a murderous glance. If Ax found out...maybe he'd go through with it. But maybe he wouldn't.

Ax was a strong person. Very strong. But we could not risk it.

"Let's do it," I said before she could finish.

We looked at each other, all feeling a little foolish. We didn't set the time for this. Xilite would find us when it was ready.

The Chee had given Ax a small – well, to be truthful, I don't know what they called it. Some long Pemalite word. But it was kind of a link between their power and him.

I didn't really know how we were supposed to help. Maybe just to keep ACapir from killing him. To keep Xilite from losing her fight.

"Now what?" Marco asked.

"Now we wait," Jake said logically.

[Are we sure about this?] Tobias asked in thought-speak blocked from Ax. [I mean –]

I glared at him. I didn't need doubts. I didn't need anyone to voice my own private thoughts.

Xilite hadn't betrayed us, after all. But I couldn't help feeling that we were betraying her.

_This was her decision,_ I reminded myself. _And she was right: We have no choice._

Earth. Earth, versus one life. One single life.

No contest.

But I saw doubts on the faces of the others – except Tobias's, which betrayed nothing, and Ax's...

He truly believed that she would be free. Free of Thchi's control. That much was true.

But he believed that she would live.

And she would not.

_We are ready._

I heard the voice in my head. Xilite's. It could only be hers.

We all looked at each other. I took a deep breath.

And then we were there.

Not a dream this time. It was reality.

*The little Animorphs!* Thchi laughed.

"Yes, we are the _little_ Animorphs," I shot back. "And we are here to destroy you."

I sounded foolish, merely an overconfident child. Thchi realized this. I realized this. But it was too late.

*Which of you pathetic creatures actually wishes to challenge me?*

[I do.]

She sighted Ax and let out a long scream. Intended to intimidate us. I saw Marco fall back slightly, then regain his position.

Thchi rocketed down. I had not realized just how large she was.

WHUMPFF!!

Thchi slammed into something hard. It took me a moment to realize that Ax had activated one of the Chee's force fields.

Suddenly, a blast of light shot from Ax into one of Thchi's eyes. She howled in pain as the eye was incinerated.

"I warned you, oh great Thchi," said a voice I recognized all too well. "I warned you about this."

[ACapir.] Ax's voice rang flat. But I heard the note of triumph.

"Aximili," he replied, an air of resentment in his voice.

[I wonder who will win this fight.] Ax smiled the Andalite smile __ not in a friendly way.

"Not you."

ACapir blasted him.

The energy ricocheted off the force field.

Thchi glared from Ax to Xilite. Then a look of understanding came over her face.

Quicker than I could see, she zoomed down. Her fang was inches from Xilite's throat. I could see poison dripping from it.

*Deactivate the force field.*

Ax looked trapped. If he deactivated the force field, he lost. Earth lost. And if he didn't...

There was silence. No sound except our heavy breathing. Thchi's poison dripping.

Xilite did not look as though she was afraid. But Xilite never did.

She would die anyway.

I saw the muted horror on Ax's face. He would lose Xilite.. or maybe lose the world.

There was no real contest, of course, he'd lose Xilite anyway, but he didn't know that.

But Ax seemed not to be the only one with an interest in Xilite surviving.

**

* * *

Chapter Twenty – ACapir

* * *

**

My heart stopped. In that moment I realized that I did not want Xilite to die because I did care about her. No matter what I told myself.

And she would not die.

"No, Thchi," I said coldly. "Not that way."

And with that, I released a blast of power on Thchi herself.

*Aaaaarghhhh!!*

Her head snapped back. Away from Xilite.

*TRAITOR!* Thchi screeched.

[Xilite!] the Andalite cried as she began to fall. I registered the fact that Thchi had cut her slightly, on the arm. Not enough to kill her.

Aximili. Would she always care for him? Would he always be the one she loved?

Of course. After all, I was the enemy.

It would always be about him.

Aximili struck in fury. Thchi reeled back. She had greatly underestimated them. Perhaps too much.

Xilite stood. Shakily. The poisonous dose, while not fatal, had been enough to make her feel drained.

I could not help feeling relief. If she did not fight...Thchi would not die..and she would live.

She would live.

Xilite started to fall back again. I caught her arm and steadied her.

She looked surprised, to say the least. "Why..."

"This is really what you want," I said sadly. "Isn't it."

It was not a question. I knew.

She nodded fiercely. "My sacrifice will be small. Not enough to impact anything more than myself."

She was wrong. It would impact the Andalite. And, I realized, it would impact me.

But still I turned and struck.

**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-one – Thchi

* * *

**

I was dying.

ACapir had been right. I had underestimated them far too much. And I would pay dearly for my mistake.

But it was not possible. I could not have seen it.

ACapir had turned on me.

On _ME_! To save that accursed Xairr!

I would not live to kill him. I would not live to kill any of them. But my death would kill Xilite.

I wanted to feel delighted. But I did not. I'd lived a life of killing. I'd lived a life of rage. And it was drawing to a close – and still I felt empty.

But what if she lived? What if, by some miracle I could not foresee, she survived? Survived to be with that Andalite, to fight beside those humans, to liberate her race?

It could not be allowed.

And I could prevent, at least, their being together.

But even as the plan formed in my swiftly dying mind, I felt the approach of something new.

No! Not new! Old beyond belief. Literally thousands of years old...

Memory!

They came, even as I screamed in my mind...

* * *

_FLASH!_

SWOOOOOSH!!

The Taxxon thrust its head -- if you could call it a head -- beneath the surface. I slithered in, barely controlling my disgust.

Disgust, yes, but the exhilaration of a host, of SIGHT.

I did not like depending on anything else. I did not like being blind without something else to be my eyes. And so a host was good. But a Taxxon?

I was the only one I'd ever known of who could control the Taxxon hunger. My twin was incredibly jealous. She did not have the same control of herself – or the same thrill for control – that I did. But this was something I excelled in. Something that I could surpass her in.

And, though she wouldn't admit it, it was not the only thing. Not by far.

However, my twin was in some way vindicated: she was the prime.

I hated her for it.

FLASH!

The Taxxon was trying to regain control. It wanted to share in the feast. It wanted to feed upon something. Anything! It took all of my will to stay in control...

FLASH!

[What's the matter, little twin?] my sister sneered in the pool. [Bothered by the Taxxon hunger?]

I'd requested a new host body. Simply because I hated the lack of control the Taxxon had. It sickened me.

I had made so many accomplishments. I was valuable for my intellect. Among other things. My sister – the prime, no less! – could not stand to admit that.

[At least I remain in control. Of the host bodies. Of myself._]_

[Of course,] she smirked. [You always did want control.] She laughed. [So you'd trade a Taxxon for a Gedd? A sickening host body, really. Disgusting to even _have_ a sister in a Gedd body.]

[I've worked on fighter techniques,] I said coolly. [That's why I'm getting a Hork-Bajir host. And you're stuck as a Taxxon.]

[You can't have a host greater than mine!] she roared. [You are the _lesser,_ little --]

[Ah, here's the message,] I said coolly. Then, as I began to move away, [Are you sure I'm the lesser? Maybe you need to consider abandoning your position as the prime.]

She screamed in anger. My sister could not control herself very well. Like the Taxxons...

FLASH!

"Goodbye, Thchi 8744," my sister sneered. "You are hereby denied Kandrona rays."

"You can't do that," I said flatly. "You don't have a high enough rank."

She smiled a Hork-Bajir smile. After all, she'd gotten her host. As I'd known she would. "Can't I?" She puffed herself up proudly. "I am being promoted to the rank of Sub-Visser Eighteen."

I laughed derisively. "And I'm impressed. Really. But you still can't cut a Yeerk off from Kandrona rays. Not without the approval of a Visser."

"I have the approval of Visser Three."

I gasped. Visser Three was my sister's friend. Friends among Yeerks are rare. Friends of my sister, rarer.

And friends of Esplin 9466?

Of course, they were both primes. But would that not increase his contempt for her still? Or not?

She smiled again. "Enjoy your last three days of life."

I turned away, then turned back. "You'll suffer for this, Thchi 8744. I swear it."

"I'm sure."

FLASH!

"Sreeeeeee!"

I let out a Taxxon scream as the star exploded.

I'd managed to get a Taxxon host. More than my sister would have given me. She wanted me helpless on a world far away from any Kandrona. But I was slightly smarter than she.

Slightly.

Hah.

Not that it would matter now.

FLASH!

I stumbled woozily to my feet.

I stared at the fighter timer.

It read...

What...

FLASH!

A Sario Rip. That was the only thing it could be, I realized as I piloted the fighter down to a planet. A Sario Rip.

A fascinating thing, truly. I'd studied them.

An honor to be involved in such a matter.

But that did not change the fact that, when I came to my own timeline, I'd cease to exist.

I snorted, still staring at the clock. That wouldn't be a problem.

I couldn't survive that long. It was a rip of _thousands_ of years. Thousands! As much as I wanted to believe that the fighter clock was off – or maybe I didn't – I knew that it was not.

Besides which, I had maybe two and a half days left.

There's nothing like being able to count the remaining hours of your life.

Something better, perhaps, but nothing like.

FLASH!

This planet was like nothing I'd ever seen! Beautiful beyond comparison -- so much more wonderful than my own Yeerk homeworld. I could hardly imagine what type of species would live here.

Then I saw them.

The creatures fairly danced across the fields. I felt ashamed of my filthy host body, watching their grace.

They would be wonderful host bodies -- if I wasn't so far away from my own time.

FLASH!

They wanted to study me. Study the worm-like creature that they had never seen. The instant I entered the lab – of my own consent – I was amazed. Even in the Yeerk empire, in modern times we did not have such advanced computers!

They were Xaralites. Amazing intelligence!

And it would be ours, it would be _mine_, if I could infest one.

I spoke as well as I could in the Taxxon tongue. "Sree swass ias –"

To my amazement, the creature replied. "Sreeeee, sra sreeeese."

I'd never known of a creature that could speak in this tongue. But suddenly I realized that these had the same type of technology inborn that the Andalites had through their translator chips. Not only that – but they could _speak_ the languages their inborn translators restated!

I crawled out of the Taxxon's ear. Instantly, it went beserk. They had taken a small blood sample and the Taxxon wanted that blood.

Oh, it wanted it.

The same one that had spoken lifted me up. I suddenly felt helpless. Vulnerable.

I tried to slither towards its ear canal. It knew what I wanted.

Fool!_ I laughed silently as it raised me up. I slithered in unblocked._

[Aaaaaaahhh!]

The creature was shocked. Utterly shocked. I was attempting to control it!

[Hello. I am Thchi 8744 of the Takon pool. And you are my slave.]

I expected little or no resistance as it sunk in. But the creature simply blocked me.

[And I am Xaian. A Xarilian. As well as a Xaralite scientist. And you, whatever type of creature you are, cannot control me.]

I felt my Yeerk brain going haywire. It could not comprehend this! I was a master at control – I should be able to –

I tried harder. Now this strange Xaralite's brain was going completely insane trying to keep me out.

Panic began to overtake this Xaian as I fought. But I was losing!

The Taxxon had gone unnoticed by me. But now – now as it began to upset the strange chemicals –

FWAAAHHHHSSSSCCHHHH!

Power!

Amazing power!

I was no longer in the Xaralite's brain. I was no longer a Yeerk!

Such power...

It was the obsession for me now. Not control. POWER!

I felt myself abandon part of my control. My will to control. But in exchange for this wonderful power...

Power...

FLASH!

I learned of Xaian. He had become...what was that word? Ah, yes, a Xairr. The power had affected him as well – though not nearly as much as _me._

I saw his son. Powerful. A Xairr as well.

I felt myself speed time. Watched generation after generation of his line. The power never decreasing. Always there. Always evident.

And they would always resist me.

Until, finally, I saw Zren.

Zren.

The Xaralite, the Xairr, who would not for long be as such.

Zren was a mighty Xairr. The mightiest yet, the most powerful yet.

I offered him power, unimaginable power, if he would fight on my side.

He refused.

He eventually met Koliaa. And they had a daughter.

A daughter.

The same daughter who had arranged my death.

I had known that she would be trouble. I attempted to kill her as an infant.

Zren and Koliaa protected her.

And now they were no longer Xaralites. They had crossed me. A fatal mistake.

I had killed the true Esplin 9466, the prime. The one who had denied me Kandrona rays. The one who had approved my sister's plan. Killed him!

And replaced him with Zren.

I had never existed in this timeline. Never existed at all. My twin was Thchi 874, not a twin, not the prime, just a Yeerk.

My sister...I had yet to complete my revenge on her...

But I had not.

Not yet.

Not now...

FLASH!

Once again, dying! Once again Thchi, the snake, no drive for my own control and no capability for self_control. Only enjoying crushing minds below mine as a fond remembrance of the Thchi that I had once been. I envied that Thchi. Even with my current power...

Thchi 8744. The prime. It was her fault.

Completely her fault!

Her fault that I had such power...and yet...her fault that I had so little control.

Her fault that I could not control myself.

And, in a twisted way, her fault that I lay dying.

Which, of course, was what she'd intended from the start.

I heard her words in my mind. "Enjoy your last three days of life."

And, with a sickening twist in my gut, I realized the date.

In this timeline...

If I had existed...I knew the date.

This was exactly three days since she had said that.

A thousand years ago...and yet three days ago.

She had won.

My sister always won.

**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-two – Xilite

* * *

**

My head reeled from the flashes.

Thchi 8744. A Yeerk.

Now more powerful than any Yeerk could hope to be.

But also, dying.

Why had I been sent these memories as well? Why did I have to feel this pain? This pity for her?

I felt some sort of mindlink between Thchi and I. Some strange, warped link. What was it?

I tried to remember what my father – I was now sure that it was him – had said. When he knew what Thchi had done.

"A death in honor..."

With a shock, I realized that I could not remember. I felt my memory being damaged. Felt it being seared by what invisible power I knew not.

No.

I knew.

The mindlink!

I was dying!

I fell to the ground. My body was shutting down. It was limp, now. Soon it would be a shell – a cold shell, with nothing left to inhabit it.

[XILITE!]

The anguished, panicked voice boomed from where the final blow to Thchi had come. He had killed her. Aximili had killed her.

He had won an impossible fight.

And he had killed me.

He was kneeling by my side in a moment. [Xilite...no...]

"I knew it would happen, Ax," I whispered. "I knew this. I don't regret...don't regret it, Ax..."

"You've killed her, Andalite filth!" ACapir shrieked.

I saw the pain in his eyes. Aximili's. And past him, ACapir's.

Why?

I knew why. My brain had, logically, figured out what my heart refused to accept.

He loved me.

Ridiculous! After all the pain he had caused – after all the hurt he had inflicted –

[You can't die,] Ax whispered.

I knew what he meant. And I knew that, beyond his words, they all believed I was invincible. I'd beaten so many odds. I'd come so far.

"She can, Andalite," ACapir hissed. "Because of _you._"

They were all bending over me now. Jake, Rachel, Tobias, Cassie, Marco. ACapir.

Ax.

I felt so helpless. So utterly helpless.

In front of me, I could see Thchi. Dying alone. Exactly as her twin had intended.

Alone.

I had friends. Ax – more than a friend. Rachel, Cassie, Jake, Tobias, Marco – I had fought beside them. I had fought for them. ACapir – he had fought for me.

Thchi had nothing.

The shards of her evil life were worth nothing, now. Nothing except the ruined lives of two Xaralites.

My parents.

My father had killed so many. He had arranged the death of so many. He had murdered so many.

How could he be my father?

Who knew of my mother? She was not important. She was not a Xairr. Thchi did not care about her fate, other than the fact that she had attempted to protect me. Who knew of her, now?

"You've killed her," ACapir said, half-raving, his eyes half-unfocused. "You've killed her, you..."

"ACapir," I said as well as I could. My strength was ebbing fast. "It's not his fault. This was my choice. He did not know."

[Why didn't you tell me?] he asked softly.

"You never would have gone through with it," I whispered. I could barely talk. I closed my eyes briefly. Just a few more moments of this horrible agony...

And then I would be gone...

The Animorphs said nothing. But I could see the horrible guilt in Rachel's eyes, hidden between a glistening layer of tears. I could see the tears pouring freely down Cassie's cheeks. I could see the guilt, far beyond Rachel's, in Jake's eyes. Tobias's eyes showed nothing. Hawk eyes never do. Nothing except the tiny hint of human emotion behind the intelligent eyes – or mindless eyes – of the predator. And I could see the conflicting emotions in Marco's eyes – relief at my death, sorrow, guilt, pity...

Relief. I was not surprised, not really. Sorrow and guilt and pity...those did surprise me.

"This ludicrous planet wasn't worth this," ACapir spat.

"Yes," I choked out. "It was."

**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-three – ACapir

* * *

**

I looked at Xilite. Sacrificing her own, one life for a backward, irrelevant planet.

I would not, _would not_ let her die.

But what could I do? How could I fight Thchi's power, that inexorable mind link that would chain the two for the rest of their short lives? I was merely an _A_Xaralite!

I could never sever it.

I did not ask myself why I cared, now. I did not ask myself why she meant so much to me.

I knew.

And suddenly I knew, also, how to keep Thchi from killing her.

I wanted to believe that she loved me, in those last few moments. I wanted to believe that the Andalite was nothing to her, that I was more than he was, to her.

But it would have been a lie.

And I could see, clearly, that the most I would ever be was a friend.

If that.

I had hated her. What had happened to change that?

Her bravery? Her courage? What?

It did not matter, now.

Nothing mattered.

Except the fact that she could not die.

I knew exactly what I was doing. I was giving hope to the Xaralites – the race that _I_ had truly been in charge of crushing. I was aiding the Xaralite captain – the Xarilian – the _Xairr_ – who could, quite possibly, bring our empire over her race to an end.

If she did...I wouldn't be there to see it.

No one would ever know what happened to me. I would die, my death unknown, my life a myth.

Dying alone. No friends near me, except her.

Dying alone. Like Thchi.

I could have been so much. I could have been...the emperor. I could have accomplished so many things, so far beyond what others could do.

Why was I...no. I knew why I was giving it up.

For her.

_She did not love me._ The words were true. And the truth should have stunned me. The truth should have made me turn and walk away. But it didn't.

I touched her forehead and concentrated. I was not surprised to feel the cool, metallic sensation of the Andalite's tail blade on my throat.

[Get your hands off her, _A_Xaralite,] he snapped.

I ignored him. This was her only chance.

Even as I concentrated, I felt death begin to press around me. I hesitated just an instant. There was still time to turn back.

No.

I felt Thchi's link, Xilite's doom, being transferred to me.

To _me_.

_Why?_ I cried silently. _Why did Thchi choose me?_

It did not matter. Because if I had not been chosen, perhaps this would never have occurred. Perhaps Earth would have been doomed. Perhaps Xilite would have been killed.

Perhaps the Xaralites would never have had hope.

Perhaps I would have been the emperor.

And perhaps...perhaps when Earth fell, everything would fall.

It did not matter. History only takes one course. The outcome would never be different, because I would never have a second chance. This would always be the way it was.

My life had not been worthless. Because of it, she would live. And somehow, that fact was worth more than any of the goals I could have set for myself.

My thoughts swirled crazily. My memories began to fade.

But even as my sight glazed, even as I began to lose the connection between my mind and my body, I saw her eyes open.

She would live.

And that was enough.

"Take care of her, Aximili," I said as well as I could. My eyes closed slowly.

"Who..." she gasped out. I realized, with a shock, that she had lost her memories.

"Who are you..."

I'd never felt a pain so intense. She did not even know who I was. In those last moments, she did not even know who was dying.

I could not speak. From emotion or from the simple fact that I was dying, I did not know.

I felt myself fall back. I felt my brain shutting down.

I saw the light return to her eyes.

But I was dying. Dying, so fast, so...

So...

Only a few more moments were left to me.

There was a long silence. Only my harsh, labored breathing sounded. And then she spoke.

"ACapir...thank you..."

I knew she had not cared for me. Knew she never would.

I knew who she had cared for.

And I'd have given my life a thousand times just to see her push the Andalite away.

I opened my eyes slowly. One last time. Just to see her face one last time.

She was in the Andalite's arms.

But she pulled herself away, just for an instant, to kneel beside me.

"I'm sorry, ACapir," she said softly. "But I am grateful."

I tried to reach up. To touch her hand.

My hand never touched hers.

I wanted to speak. But I could not.

_Goodbye, Xilite..._

**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-four – Ax

* * *

**

Alive.

I came up behind her. She was staring at his deadened eyes, wondering...wondering why...

I wondered, myself.

He had done for her what no one else could do. I reminded myself that I would have – if I could, I would have sacrificed myself for her a hundred times – but I could not. It would have done no good.

His power, his own _A_Xaralite power, had enabled it.

Enabled his doom.

He was dead for her.

_No!_

I did not know where the voice came from. I never would know – or not for many, many years.

But I heard it.

_No! Not together. Never!_

Xilite leaped back from the corpse. Her eyes searched for the source.

The Animorphs were gone!

I inspected the room with my stalk eyes. Nothing! The body of Thchi was gone. Only ACapir's corpse, Xilite, and I remained.

And yet...something. In the room. Something else.

Suddenly, I felt the energy. Before it hit either of us. As it raced through the air to –

"AAARGGGHHH!"

The scream burst from both of us at once. I felt as though my head was splitting apart. As though it was exploding.

Pain!

Pain beyond imagination!

My memories were being torn away. Torn away, ripped away, drawn into some deep force I could not retrieve them from...

Her pain-wracked eyes were raised to mine. And, on her lips, I saw the words form.

_I love you..._

Time slowed, just for an instant. Because she was alive. And free.

And even if both of us died now, we died together.

The electricity – or whatever it was – sizzled as it swept through the air. A crackling sound was heard above our now-silent screams.

I could not imagine who could have done this. My brain was beginning to shut down slightly.

I saw her, Xilite, one last time.

Only not Xilite.

A human...?

What...?

FLASH!

* * *

I opened my eyes slowly.

"Phillip? Phillip!"

A woman in the room instantly began to laugh and cry at once.

"She's hysterical," a man dressed in white murmured to another. "Still can't absorb the news."

"We were sure you were dead, son," a man said. I did not recognize any of them.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"Complete amnesia," the man in white commented. He looked at the man who had called me "son." "He may retrieve his memories. Or he may not. It's too soon to tell."

But it was coming back...wasn't it? This man was my father. And the woman was my mother.

A rush of memory. But it felt so...artificial. I remembered everything – but almost as though I had not lived it. As though I was watching a video.

I surveyed the room. Slowly I began to stand.

Dad – the name still did not feel real – reached out a hand to steady me. "You may be a little bit shaky – they tell us it was a bad accident –"

Mom nodded shakily as he attempted to continue. She looked considerably emotional.

"What happened?" I interrupted.

"You...you were riding," Mom said. "Riding a horse. And you fell – they thought it was brain damage –"

"You hit your head," the man in white – presumably a doctor – said calmly. "You're lucky it wasn't worse."

"How long will he have amnesia, approximately?" Dad asked.

The doctor looked annoyed. "It's impossible to tell so soon. In the meantime –"

"My memories seem to be coming back," I said impatiently.

They looked doubtful. But slowly the doctor nodded. "I – I guess that's possible," he admitted. Then a suspicious look crossed his face. "Do you remember your name?"

"Phillip," I said automatically. But then I paused. That did not feel real.

That name was not mine.

And neither were the memories – were they? How was it possible for them to be any different?"

"That's very basic," the other doctor informed my parents in an undertone. "He may not have full possession of his memories yet."

"I do," I said arrogantly.

Yes. I remembered. I'd been riding a horse – a mare named Wildfire – at a stable. She had thrown me.

My face burned from the memory. I'd never been thrown before.

"Is there anything else to be done?" Dad inquired.

"If he has full possession of his memories? No. But if any problems arise –"

"We'll be back," Dad finished.

"Yes."

They filled out some paperwork as we left. It all seemed to be a dream to me. Not real. None of it.

I was not Phillip.

Who was I?

I struggled to remember. But all I found were the memories of someone named Phillip.

_Just the aftereffects of amnesia,_ I told myself. _Nothing more. This was you._

But somewhere inside the memory...something felt real.

Someone.

I could not glimpse her name. Or her face. Or anything about her.

Maybe when the aftereffects of amnesia wore off, I would be able to. But I could not, not now.

All I knew, when I reached as far into my memories as I could, was this: whoever she was, wherever she was...I loved her.

I knew I loved her.

And that, only that within the whole rush of memory, felt real.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
